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I’m Uncomfortable Too…. | Hawaii Wedding Photographer | Personal

Aloha you guys! Today, I am going to get a bit personal with you guys!

I want to take my photographer hat off, and put on my client hat. I wanted to let you guys know how I feel about being in front of the camera.

hawaii wedding photographer

I wanted to write this post to you guys, to let you know that I am human!

The other day, I had a beautiful client who was excited and nervous about her session, and when I showed her some behind the camera action,  she kept telling me how “pretty” I was making her!

And mind you, that wasn’t the case! I wasn’t making her beautiful, my camera wasn’t making her beautiful, SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL!

But, then it made me go back another week or so when I got new photos done with the uber talented Rae Marshall Photography!

I was so nervous!

I was like a sweaty beast I was so nervous!

I felt everything that many women feel in front of the camera..

“I don’t look pretty.”

“This extra weight on my sucks.”

“I feel like I’m smiling ugly.”

“I hate me..”

Mind you, I do love a good selfie!

Even after I got these stunning images, I still beat myself up.

I absolutely see the irony in the fact that I am a photographer feeling this way.

My JOB is to capture these amazing memories, making people comfortable in front of the camera.

Showing a bride, a mother, a mother to be, hell even a man just how amazing they are. How beautiful/handsome they are, both on the inside and out.

Yet, I can’t do that for myself. 

Now, this isn’t some pity party, I’m not looking for compliments, it was me being REAL.

Me letting you all know, “I get it..”

And me to remind all of us, including myself, that we ARE beautiful!

We ARE worth it!

Too many times I’ve had clients not wanting to get in front of the camera because of the way that they felt about themselves!

I am here to tell you today to STOP!

Capture your memories, document your legacy, because guess what, your legacy of who you are, what you look like, is what you will pass down to your future generations!

I love you all!!!

<3 Vanessa

comments

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20

  1. Jennifer

    June 30th, 2015 at 8:27 pm

    wonderful blog post. I am very guilty, as an overweight older woman I am very self conscious. Very.

    I look forward to working with you once you relocate to California, after reading this post I am even more excited to see your work and to have you take the photos of our family.

  2. Ashley Eiban

    July 1st, 2015 at 2:23 am

    LOVE these beautiful headshots! They did a fantastic job! You really are so beautiful! But girl, I totally feel the same any time I have to get photos done with my family, and especially alone!! haha

  3. Ashley S

    July 1st, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    Aw, I totally get it! Being photographed is hard for almost everyone, I think! I know that brides have a lot to worry about on their wedding day, that added pressure of looking "beautiful" is almost always there. Everyone needs to learn to appreciate what we have to offer, inside and out, every day. We’re all amazing, if we choose to look within. I think it’s great that, as a wedding photographer, you choose to get on the other side of the camera and get some headshots! Beautiful, btw!

  4. Nicole Winkels

    July 1st, 2015 at 5:13 pm

    Such a great post! Its nice to see personal blog posts from time to time 🙂 I hope you have lots of sucess booking many weddings in San Francisco!!

  5. Corey

    July 1st, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    You are too cute and your headshots are so great! These are perfect to showcase on your website as a San Francisco wedding photographer!

  6. Lauren

    July 1st, 2015 at 11:12 pm

    Vanessa, seriously, you’re gorgeous! But I get it too. I do. It’s why I became a photographer: to stay BEHIND the camera, not in front of it, lol. Wishing you health and healing on your road to recovery. <3

  7. abbie

    July 2nd, 2015 at 12:53 am

    you look fab! it’s hard to be photographed sometimes, it’s easier to preach it than do it. So glad you did though. Hope you love California, it’s a great place to be a photographer!

  8. Jenny Storment

    July 2nd, 2015 at 4:43 am

    Beautiful headshots! I hate being in front of the camera too but these are some great photos!

  9. Christine D

    July 2nd, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    These are beautiful head shots of you! I think the same things, and I feel very uncomfortable in front of the camera too. I wish other people could see themselves through my eyes, and I am sure I would be surprised to see myself through theirs. It is important, no matter what, to get in front of the lens!

  10. Doru

    July 3rd, 2015 at 4:50 am

    Great headshots! Amazing job capturing and amazing San Francisico wedding photographer!! Sorry to hear about your car accident but glad you are her on blog!

  11. Amanda

    July 3rd, 2015 at 1:36 pm

    What a lovely blog post. I’m glad your okay after your accident. I bet this positive attitude helps with your wedding clients from San Francisco. I am always so awkward in front of the camera. LOL Thanks goodness for amazing photographers to help me at least look relaxed.

  12. Stefanie Ritter

    July 4th, 2015 at 7:31 pm

    As a photographer myself, I hate my own picture taken too. I feel like the world’s biggest geek. I, for once am not overweight. I had lost over one hundred pounds a few years ago. I love shooting in my area (Kansas City). We have so many awesome places to take pictures. I hope you have a great move to California. If you are ever in Kansas City, please look me up!

  13. Kathy

    July 5th, 2015 at 3:10 am

    Girl, these are amazing head shots! You personality and beauty really shines through. Thank you for sharing a personal post. SO. MANY. people are uncomfortable in front of the camera, I think it would be kind of a relief to know that, sometimes, photographer feel that way too! Good for you for sharing these images will all of us. They really are beautiful.

  14. Amber

    September 27th, 2015 at 6:05 pm

    Thank you for sharing that. I know that I am beautiful, but sometimes I don’t feel like it since I struggle with a medical condition that won’t let me loose all of the weight. I work out and eat healthy and I still hold the weight. People think that I over indulge and make ugly comments, so sometimes those comments will hit my heart and I will critique my pics and erase pictures cause I don’t like what I look like in them.

    Thank you so much for sharing…keep doing what you do. Your pictures are beautiful along with a beautiful woman, inside and out.

  15. Brenden

    August 2nd, 2017 at 8:31 pm

    I couldn’t agree with you more! Being in front of a camera, instead of behind it, makes you feel so vulnerable and critical. I used to really hate being in front of the camera, I really didn’t like not being in control, but eventually I realized people see you everyday, and from every angle-living your life, and if you wouldn’t hide yourself from the world, then why would you hide from a photo!! It also helps these days that when I look in the mirror I try not to say or think negative things. I used to make all these “I wish” statements about my body, and all that does is pick yourself apart. Look at yourself with love and celebrate the accomplishments that you have been through! <3 celebrate the beauty in others and most importantly yourself!

  16. Kelcie

    August 2nd, 2017 at 8:50 pm

    This is beautiful, Vanessa! Your words are true, and I love that you got behind the camera!

  17. Tiffany Johnson

    August 2nd, 2017 at 10:01 pm

    You ARE beautiful! And this is such a wonderful post! 😀

  18. Noelle

    August 3rd, 2017 at 3:05 am

    Vanessa, Thank you for writing this. I spent ALL afternoon trying to do a Facebook live or even just a selfie or a video to post today for a promotion and I talked myself out of it for over 3 hours…I am so ugly, I look fat in this outfit, my complexion isn’t good today, I am having a bad hair day, etc, etc, etc. Then I read your blog post and I heard your voice greeting me as you always do and you said “Hi Beautiful” and then I took a deep breath and just went for it and posted my video. XOXO

  19. Sarah Cutright

    August 3rd, 2017 at 3:16 am

    That’s so cool you put the shoe on the other foot and had a turn behind the camera! I think every photographer should experience that so they can better empathize with their clients.
    You are absolutely beautiful, btw! Rae Marshall did an awesome job too!

  20. Anna Elizabeth

    August 3rd, 2017 at 2:29 pm

    That’s amazing that you get to step in the shoes of your clients in this way! I can totally relate to being uncomfortable in front of the camera some days (I think everyone can) but, these photos are absolutely STUNNING! So, so gorgeous.

    xo Anna Elizabeth
    https://www.lifestylebyannaelizabeth.com/

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